Valentine Funny Quotes

Valentine Funny Quotes can help when you're not sure of the reaction and can ease the situation if you receive an unfavourable response. They are free for your non commercial purpose.









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Love is like a Cabbage

My love is like a cabbage
Divided into two,
The leaves I give to others,
The heart I give to you.

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Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up,
as the brain empties.
Jules Renard

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If You Carrot All for Me

Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a cute tomato,
Will you peas to me belong?
You've been the apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect pear.

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Facebook says I'm single
But that's not really true.
My heart belongs to someone,
And that someone is you.

We'd make a great couple,
Jealous folk would hate us,
So please give me a reason
To update my status.

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I love you, I love you, I love you so
Be my Esmerelda, I'll be your Quasimodo.

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A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you.

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I love you, I love you, I love you almighty,
I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie,
Don't be mistaken, don't be misled,
I mean on the clothes line and not on the bed.

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*FOR THOSE ALREADY MARRIED JOKES*

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Wife: What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour.
Husband :I was looking for the expiration date.

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A newly married man asked his wife,
Would you have married me if my father hadn't
left me a fortune?
Honey, the woman replied sweetly,I'd have married you,
no matter WHO left you a fortune.

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