Silly Poems for Kids

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My Aardvark and friends

I already had an aardvark and an octopus
So you can imagine the almighty fuss
When I took home a hippopotamus
When I did it again next day, me Dad just cusses
"Two bloomin' hippopotamuses
They're as big as double decker buses"
"Actually", says I, "it's better to say hippopotami
Though never double decker bi
Don't ask me why"...but he did ask me why
"Grammar" was my reply

Grandma wasn't happy at me getting a new pet
"I haven't finished the gloves for your octopus yet"
She declares
"I've only knitted 4 pairs
(She wanted spares)
And what's more, I'm knitting bootees for your Aunt
Well, not for her, for her ele phant
It's all such a palaver
That aardvark'll wait ages for his balaclava
I'm 82, me lad, and not a fast knitter
And I don't want to sound bitter
But keeping 5 large creatures in a bedsitter..
..Is not very mature
Considering the manure"

Jon Bratton c 2005

Silly Poems for Kids

If I saw a hiccup
What color would it be?
That's a good question
Burple, perhaps, maybe

jon Bratton c 2007

Silly Poems for Kids

To all the animals waiting
At the gang plank of the Ark
Noah said "Load up alphabetically
Starting with aardvark"

The adder was very happy
The antelope said "good call"
But the yak and the zebra
Just weren't happy at all

"OK", said Noah "lets start with the ones with the fewest legs"
A centipede said "that's absurd"
"Well what a good idea"
Said a stork to another bird

So all the birds prepared to load
Filing in two by two
"I must be first " came the shout
Of a little kangaroo

"Wait your turn" said the birds
"You've got two legs just like us
Try to be patient
Stop making all this fuss"

It took a while for the little joey
To emerge from the bunch
It's not easy to hop when one of your legs
Was once a crocodile's lunch

It should be us, but we'll just swim
Said two hunch backed whales
"We must be first" said two french frogs
Assisted by two snails

All at once the heavens opened
Heavy rain came falling down
Noah said "Let's start with the smallest
Or they will surely drown

"Yippee" said the flea
"Aye, aye" said the fly
"Bah poey" was the call
Of both hippopotami

How long it took, we'll never know
But one thing's for sure
Noah spent the 40 days and nights
Shovelling manure

Jon Bratton c 2008


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Silly Poems for Kids