Rude Poems about Men by Women

Rude poems about Men by Women is, surprisingly, a fairly common search term so it behoves us to oblige with these saucy little verses. You are free to use them for non commercial purposes

You can buy condoms without the salesman “seeing” you naked
All your orgasms are for real
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow
Eating a banana is no big deal

No one glances at your chest when you're talking to them.
You walk in a room, and no one stop swearing
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter
Your knees can be parted, whatever you're wearing.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group
You don't need a bag wherever you go
You can adjust your crotch without leaving the room
You can write your name in the snow

Three pairs of shoes are enough for you
Chocolate is just another snack
Hot wax never comes anywhere near your pubes
You don’t curl up to a hairy back

You don't care if someone's talking behind you back
30 seconds flat, and you’re off the phone
You can wear a white shirt to a water park
The remote control is yours alone

Jon Bratton 2009

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