Funny 30th Birthday Poems

Welcome to Funny 30th Birthday poems which brings you funny happy 30th birthday wishes, rhymes, messages, verses, poems suitable for cards or speeches

This first of the funny 30th birthday poems is for a man

30 is the lowest big 0 birthday
You’re not thought of as being ‘old’
Youthfully challenged, yes of course
But still beautiful and bold

But the aging process is well under way
In dog years, you’re already dead
You’re beginning to be too sexy for your hair
How long before it’s not there…on your head?

How long before there’s more up your nose
And in your ears?
How long before you just sip wine?
Instead of downing a dozen beers

Oh you’ve still got the body of a god
But here’s a thought to make you shudder
You might think you’re now like Zeus
But how long before it’s Buddha?

Even now you’re slowing down
You’re not as fit as you were, we bet
We reckon now that pushing your luck
Is the most exercise you get

Bending down is harder than it used to be
You now go red and wheeze
You now think if God had wanted you to touch your toes
He’d have put them on your knees.

You’re not over the hill but the hill’s in sight
You’ve noticed the path’s getting steep
Sometimes, nowadays, you wake up grumpy
But often as not, you let her sleep

How long before your wedding tackle
Stops standing up to watch you shave?
How long before when out with the boys
You find it easier to just behave

We knew you’d find this depressing
But we did it anyway, what the heck
We’re your friends, it’s our duty
To provide a reality check

You’re now hurtling towards the big Four-0
When life begins they say
But for now, act like a 30 year old
Have a happy, irresponsible day

Jon Bratton 2009

***

Here is one suitable for a girl reaching thirty

Today, you're 30
My oh my
How the years
Have hurtled by
Left your twenties
Way behind
Will your thirties
Be so kind?
It's getting harder and harder
To hold the tum in
No time for the gym,
Trying to stay thin
Getting all dolled up
For a special night out
Gets harder, takes longer
What's that all about?
A night out with the girls
Was a regular date
Now it has to be planned
And you still end up late
The days when time
Was just for you
Now have to be shared
With others too
But these days will return,
By and by
When from the nest
, The kids do fly
You'll have lots of time
Not be down in the mouth
Trying to stop all your bits
From traveling south

Margaret M 2009

If you want more funny 30th birthday poems, clink the link which takes you a 40th birthday page which offers different poems in a similar vein

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