50th Birthday Poems Jokes

Here are some funny 50th Birthday Poems Jokes for you to have a laugh with your friends and family on their birthday for the half a century milestone birthday. These are free for you to enjoy and use for non commercial purpose.











50th birthday poems jokes

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50th Birthday Poems Jokes

Just because you're 50,
Don't despair, oh no
Overnight you won't discover
You've lost your get up and go.
Nor will you become all wrinkled,
Nor ache from head to toe.
So even though you're ripening
Don't regard it as a blow,
You won't suddenly look decrepit ...

...Cos that happened long ago!!

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For age is just a state of mind
And life can be such fun
And you still know how to party
As much as anyone

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I'm not 50, I'm 49.95, plus tax!

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Happy Half Century. The next 50 years will just fly by

Her Majesty, The Queen of England isn't sending you a telegram this year
but...
...she's happy to know you're halfway there!

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The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest.
You are always being asked to do more, and you are not
yet decrepit enough to turn them down.
T.S. Eliot

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You’re a classic, you only get better with age!
Happy 50th birthday

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Remember when 50 seemed old? If you weren't so old you would!

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Your body may need a tune-up but your spirit has taken flight, happy 50th

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50th Birthday Poems Jokes

My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs
that you, being 50 years old, can no longer satisfy.
I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.
Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you
will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be
spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at
the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset----I shall
be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the
following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty
about my being 50 years old. I would like to take this
opportunity to remind you that you are also 50 years old.
As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this,
I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is
18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an
excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that
we are in the same situation, although with one small
difference - 18 goes into 50 a lot more times than 50
goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

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At fifty you’ve accumulated the knowledge and wisdom
of being half a century on this planet. This would be a
tremendous asset if only senility and dementia hadn’t
wiped your memory bank
Happy 50th, err... whatsyername

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I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he'd have put diamonds on the floor
Joan Rivers

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Not anything to do with 50 but a funny!!

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one
of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older
brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
Tommy Cooper

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